Why Men Lose Interest in Sex and How to Get It Back
By Dr. David Samadi
It’s a common belief that men are always ready for sex. Society often paints men as the initiators, making it easy to overlook the fact that some men experience low sex drive, too. When a man becomes less interested in intimacy, it can be challenging for both partners to adjust. Women often notice this shift quickly, creating tension in the relationship.
Loss of libido is one of the most challenging sexual issues to resolve. About 31% of men and 43% of women will experience some sexual problem, and for many, low libido is a particularly tricky one to overcome.
Understanding Low Libido in Men
For many men, it’s hard to pinpoint when their sexual interest started to fade. It’s often a slow process that becomes more noticeable when it stretches out for months or longer. So, how do you know if low libido is the problem? Here are some telltale signs:
- Physical touch only happens in the bedroom.
- Sex feels more like a routine than a source of intimacy.
- Your partner is always the one initiating sex.
- There’s no excitement or anticipation before sex.
- Sexual thoughts or fantasies about your partner are rare.
- Sex is happening once or twice a month, if at all.
What Causes a Man’s Low Sex Drive?
There are many reasons why a man’s libido might drop, and it’s not always as simple as one thing. Physical, emotional, and medical issues can all play a role. If you’re experiencing a lack of interest in sex, it’s a good idea to bring up the matter to your doctor to help identify the root cause. Some possible reasons include:
- Erectile dysfunction
- Anxiety or performance stress
- High levels of stress in general
- Medical conditions that may include heart disease, diabetes, cancer, or high blood pressure
- Alcoholism
- Depression
- Thyroid disorders
- Relationship struggles, including money issues, anger, or parenting conflicts
- Simply spending too much time together
How to Rekindle Your Libido
Reigniting your libido doesn’t happen overnight, but it’s possible. The key is to focus on intimacy, connection, and quality rather than just frequency. Here are some practical steps to help bring back the spark:
1. Be Realistic
Not every sexual experience has to be perfect. Let go of the pressure, and remember that part of the fun of intimacy is being playful and lighthearted. Laughter can go a long way in bringing you closer and making your time together more enjoyable.
2. Use Your Imagination
Having an active imagination can work wonders in the bedroom. Fantasizing is a healthy and normal way to spice things up, as long as both partners are comfortable. Sharing your desires and fantasies can reignite passion and bring new energy into your relationship.
3. Build Anticipation
Life is busy, and spontaneous sex isn’t always realistic. But you can still build up anticipation throughout the day. Try giving your partner a longer-than-usual goodbye kiss in the morning, sending flirty texts during the day, or setting the mood when you get home. When you’re ready for bed, the tension will be high.
4. Stay Physically Active
Regular exercise is great for your body, mind, and mood. When you feel good about yourself physically, it confidence returns which can positively impact your sex life. Staying in shape helps relieve stress and enhances overall vitality, often leading to better sexual confidence.
5. Get Out with Friends
We’re not talking about social media here. Real social interaction—going out with friends, attending events, or spending time in a different environment—can help you and your partner reconnect. Seeing each other outside the daily grind can remind you of what drew you together in the first place.
6. Don’t Be Afraid to Seek Help
If you’ve tried everything and your libido still hasn’t returned, it might be time to seek professional help. Sex therapists and marriage counselors can offer valuable guidance. And don’t forget to rule out any underlying medical issues with your doctor—sometimes the cause of low libido is physical and can be treated.
Low libido can be challenging to talk about, but it’s essential to address it. By focusing on reconnecting with your partner, taking care of your health, and seeking support when needed, it’s possible to get that spark back.
Dr. David Samadi is the Director of Men’s Health and Urologic Oncology at St. Francis Hospital in Long Island. He’s a renowned and highly successful board-certified Urologic Oncologist Expert and Robotic Surgeon in New York City, regarded as one of the leading prostate surgeons in the U.S., with a vast expertise in prostate cancer treatment and Robotic-Assisted Laparoscopic Prostatectomy. Dr. Samadi is a medical contributor to NewsMax TV and is also the author of The Ultimate MANual, Dr. Samadi’s Guide to Men’s Health and Wellness, available online both on Amazon and Barnes & Noble. Visit Dr. Samadi’s websites at robotic oncology and prostate cancer 911.